Friday, March 17, 2006

Chef Cooks Others but Can't Take the Heat


Isaac Hayes has quit South Park because of the show's "intolerance and bigotry toward religious beliefs." I wonder if he means the countless times the show has slammed Christianity, Catholicism, Judiasm, Mormonism, and the person of Jesus in its nine years on the air, or if he's referring to their recent diss of Scientology, which he practices. Hayes, aka Chef, says "there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins."

I like what SP co-creator Trey Parker had to say about it: "Past episodes of South Park have skewered Catholics, Jews and Mormons, among others. [We] never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."



...Or maybe Hayes didn't quit and all the nastiness was published as a part of a Scientologist conspiracy. I hope you at least watched the episode. Stay tuned for my upcoming expose of Masonic handshakes...

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Big One

Well, it looks like it's finally going to happen. Many have been hoping for it and praying for it for years. Some have prayed that it wouldn't. It is a renewed battle over abortion in this country.

The stars began to align not too long ago, with the retirement of two supreme court justices and the appointment of two replacements who seem conservative enough to think about overturning Roe v. Wade. Roe was at the heart of the debate over both candidates, and a particularly bitter battle was fought over the confirmation of Samuel Alito, who once wrote the minority opinion favoring mandatory notification of the father of a potentially aborted fetus.

Wasting no time, the South Dakota House passed a bill that would outlaw nearly all abortions in that state, and its Senate quickly followed. Almost immediately, Mississippi's House passed a similar bill. And on March 6, the governor of South Dakota signed their bill into law.

OK, pro-lifers, where do you/we go from here? Assuming the S. Dakota and Mississippi laws are challenged all the way to the Supremes, and the neo-conservative court overturns Roe, what then? We have to ask ourselves some tough questions.

Most importantly, What's going to happen to all those newborns? Adoption (the loving option)? That will help, but it won't solve the problem. Over one million couples wait to adopt every year in this country, but the number of abortions supercedes by as many as 300,000. And that assumes that every couple that wants to adopt is eligible--financially, ethically--to legally adopt the child. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that all the fathers of those unaborted children rescind their parental rights (as unlikely as that may be)
and
that 80% of those couples are eligible; that leaves 500,000 helpless, unwanted human beings brought into the world.

What kinds of situations would these children be forced into? According to the Guttmacher Institute, women "with incomes below 200% of poverty made up 30% of all women of reproductive age, but accounted for 57% of all women having abortions." This poses a problem. If eligible couples adopt without regard for the economic situations of the biological parents, 285,000 children would be born into poverty. How likely are the children to succeed in life if they are born into the slums of Chicago's south side, Oak Cliff, Atlanta, etc? How will they eat? How will they attend school? The welfare system is already overstretched. Perhaps more importantly, how likely are these children of disadvantaged women to be the victims of abuse?

I ask because not only is the government ill prepared to handle the potential influx of economy-draining infants, the right and the Church are completely and utterly unprepared to do anything about the situation. Most conservatives would not support government handouts for these new mothers, and this Republican-controlled congress would therefore most likely kill any bill that would further stretch the Fed's dollar for welfare "handouts." The impetus would then fall on non-profits and churches. How many of them are financially and logistically prepared to undertake a project of such massive proportions, of caring for 300,000 newborns? I submit to you, none, or so few that their impact would be unnoticed. If neither the goverment nor the church can care for these children, what kind of public support will there be for an abortion ban? Surely, these malnourished, uneducated, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused children would have been better off never having been brought into the world to begin with. Which is the greater evil--to end a dead-end life painlessly before it is even cognizant, or to bring it into the world to humiliate, torture, and rob it of its dignity? The good citizens of these United States will not stand for the mass abuse of hundreds of thousands additional innocent children.

Secondly, you/we, the pro-life camp, need to agree on when life really does begin. Does it begin at fertilization, or does it begin at implantation? I ask because there exists an alternative to invasive abortion, one which could solve the abortion debate, that begs an answer. Plan B, or emergency contraception, can be taken within three days of unprotected sex to prevent a pregnancy. It differs from the controversial RU-486 in that it will not work if a woman is already pregnant. Plan B prevents fertilization or implantation, and it is impossible to control which. Bottom line: a zygote will not survive if it is not implanted in the uterus. Do we defend all human cell integration, or do we draw the line at viable embryos, ones that have a chance of surviving, ones that will certainly develop into a unique human life? A delineation of "human life" (that which contains human DNA) and "unique human life" (that which can and will develop into a unique human being) speaks to other issues as well, e.g. stem-cell research and medicine.

The lawmakers in South Dakota thought Plan B had some merit, and included a clause permitting its use in Section 3: "Nothing in section 2 of this Act may be construed to prohibit the sale, use, prescription, or administration of a contraceptive measure, drug or chemical, if it is administered prior to the time when a pregnancy could be determined through conventional medical testing." I quote Slate's William Saletan: "Look at that language carefully. It doesn't just say you can take a contraceptive drug before sex. It says you can take such a drug after sex, as long as it's before conventional tests can detect a pregnancy."

Pro-lifers, now is the time to get your act together. Want to outlaw abortion? Great--come up with a plan to care for the lives that you defend; no mere Modest Proposal will do. We can say life begins at fertilization, implantation, or sometime in the third trimester (as the law currently reads); nobody's going to listen to anything else. If at fertilization, then writing a provision for Plan B is construing, in ever so small a way, a right to murder a select group of human beings: those who are unfortunate enough to be the product of rape. If at implantation, then we need to fight for contraception, including emergency contraception, to be distributed on-demand and at low- or no-cost. We must be prepared not only to fight, but to win, and to sacrifice our tax dollars, charitable contributions, and volunteer hours to deal with the consequences if we do. The majority of Americans believe that abortion is immoral, but even so most believe it should still be legal. Outlawing abortion will be an uphill battle, and a house divided against itself--believing one thing morally and legislating another--cannot stand.

Sources:
Patterns in the Socioeconomic Characteristics of Women Obtaining Abortions in 2000-2001, the Guttmacher Institute.

About.com Abortion Statistics

Take the Fifth, The Road from Roe, Slate

Reuters

Peep This Crunkness Wit' a Quickness

Check out the choppers on Oscar-winner Juicy J, who won Best Original Song for "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp."


Now that's what I call Teef!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Walk Like a Cowboy

I stopped buying blue jeans when I was 16 years old. I was done with them. I didn't need 'em.

Growing up, I had worn many pairs of denim pants. The seed of my disdain for them was planted early on. One of my earliest childhood memories is of shopping for jeans at the 1/2 Price Store. My mom made me try on several pairs. The ones I liked were "too long in the crotch" for Mom's taste, and the ones she liked were unbearably stiff and rough. "They'll break in after I wash them," she promised. Yeah, right. I guess they must have, but over the years, both conceptually and practically, jeans never got any more comfortable.

They never got any more cool-looking, either. As I became more fashion-conscious, I became more and more at-odds with those who provided my jeans. "Stylistic differences" led to my not wearing jeans baggy enough to meet my cool quota. Crotch-length (or "rise" as it is called in the industrty) was always an issue; to this day I'm not sure why. I was stuck with skinny, low-rise jeans when the rest of the civilized world was wearing baggy, comfortable-looking pants. By my 16th birthday, I had rebelled.

I walked away from jeans at that age. The pockets were much too small for my hands and keys. They were always exposing the waistband of my BVDs when I sat. The bottoms of the legs never fit over my shoes--cuffs that rest above one's hightops and not around them is the mark of a true dork, and as a homeschooler, I was already handicapped in the dork department and didn't need any help from stupid pants. And khakis were so much more comfortable! Those were some pants that fit my style (I was going for sport-prep/Asian/skateboarder in high school). I got a lot of questions about why I didn't wear 'em, and, eventually, a lot of crap from the likes of Caitlin O'Hannon and other jeans-enthusiasts, too.

Then one day my then-girlfriend complimented one of my guy friends on some jeans he was wearing. I noticed 'em, too. They did look kinda good, in their own way. This got me thinking, and opened my mind to the Possibility of Jeans. Months later, I found a pair of clearance-rack Gap jeans that fit, were in the "authentic" style (which is really faux-authentic), were "relaxed" fit, not low-rise (in your face, Mom!), and had deep pockets, all for $20. I decided to give 'em a try. I must confess, I liked 'em.

Now I can't stop buying those darn blue pants. I'm on my third pair, and things have really come full-circle. The last ones I bought were low-rise, and the least-baggy trou I've worn in years. I hate to admit it, but they're probably the coolest pants I own. My khakis are becoming obsolete. Why did I wait so long to return to pants that fit well like this? Why did I give 'em up in the first place?

I feel like a cowboy when I walk. John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, ropin'n'ridin', tobacco spit, belt buckles and purdy ladies. I should have boots for this.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

You Might Be an Evangelical If...

#10. When you pray, you punctuate all entreaties with as many "justs" as you can, as if to convince the Lord you are not asking too much. "Lord, we just want to thank you." "Lord, we just ask that you watch over Bobby as he heads off to college." Lord, can You really say no to such modest requests as these?

Find out if you are a true Evangelical by reading #s 9-1. Thanks to maxskybarger and Alan for reminding me to read The Wittenburg Door.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Photo Tour of the Balkans, Part II

Today's Magnum slide show is an excellent photo essay of the former Yugoslavia. I loved these photographs. They made a part of the world (and a part of history) that was once abstract to me a little more material. Enjoy.

Firelance, forgive me for hijacking your thread.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Regarding the Return of the Beard

No doubt this beard will be used only for evil, and never for good:











Your mom goes to college.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day, Ya'll

Every year, single women and all sorts of men proclaim their hatred for this day. It's contrived! It was conceived in a vast conspiracy of women, Hallmark, and FTD! But you know what? I've always kind of liked V-Day, despite natural law's decree that as a male, even a single one, I ought to hate it. Why do I like it?

I think because it holds promise. It reminds us that true love, romantic and steadfast, exists in the world. It gives us hope. And it celebrates the first recorded gift God gave to man: companionship. (Oh, and it reminds us of the first commandment given, too: be fruitful and multiply).

So celebrate, even if it's only in a small way. Cherish your friends and loved ones today. If you've got a wife or a husband, show 'em some appreciation; after all, you could be all alone in this world with nary a soul to comfort you (and don't neglect that commandment, eh? You know what I'm talkin' 'bout.) And if you're still pissed about the day, don't blame St. Valentine, blame Chaucer.


















And check out these fantastic V-Day photographs from Magnum.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Poor Man's Rhapsody








Being a missionary with TIME Ministries has its benefits, such as paid world travel and afternoons off for religious holidays like May 19, 2005 (Revenge of the Sith opening day). The major downside is that missions doesn't pay enough to afford subscribing to an online music service.

No matter. Great music is out there, and it's free. Remember radio? The joy of pre-Clear Channel radio was discovering music you loved but would not have known to seek. Well, radio has upgraded to the web, and I'm not talkin' 'bout crappy ol' mono Real audio. A seldom-streamed format called aacPlus (the same format your iTunes are in) is gaining momentum in internet radio via Winamp, and it sounds superb. aacPlus is the most bandwidth-efficient stereo compression out there, but the audio comes through at CD quality or higher, even over dialup. Listen to stuff you've never heard of and old favorites you've forgotten about. Give radio another chance.

For your aural pleasure, Spoon recommends

The Current (hands-down the best radio station I have ever laid ears on)

WOXY: The Future of Rock
WOXY Vintage
Radio Skipper (great 80's music even I can enjoy)
Radio Student 100.5 from Zagreb, Croatia
SKY.FM Modern Jazz
WKSU: NPR, Classical, Other Smart Stuff


Find a plethora of stations at
Tuner2.

Go to Slate for more about aacPlus streaming.

The Raddest Car in the World










Before I could drive, my parents purchased a used, navy blue Pontiac 6000LE, which to my 10-year-old self was a very cool car. It was sporty for a sedan. It's very name spoke of the future and luxury. Sitting in the back was comfortable, better than huddling in the back of our 1984 Toyota Corrolla. Yes, the 6000LE was the coolest car we had ever owned. That is until my 'rents upgraded to a tan, faux-woody 6000LE station wagon, the most awesome car I had ever laid eyes on.

How did I love the 6000LE wagon? Let me count the ways. The car's lines were much sportier and futuristic than any wagon that came before. It had a bench seat in the front, allowing a young boy to sit in the front seat at the same time as Mom and Dad--impossible in the outdated, bucket-style seating of all previous family vehicles. The driver's seat was adjusted electronically--no more struggling with an underseat latch. It had a tape player (later converted to a CD player via an RCA 3-second antiskip walkman CD player and tape-adapter system) and a digital radio with "scan" and "seek". It had plush, tan, upholstered seats. Automatic transmission. Electric windows and locks. A fold down seat in the storage area that allowed two extra people to sit, spaceman-style, facing backwards.

As I approached driving age, I sometimes fantasized that the 6000LE wagon would be passed down to me. Saving the money I made as a grocer bagger (working the mid-day shift when mothers come in to cash in their WIC checks and the elderly buy their gallons of Popov vodka), I would be able to make the 6000LE even more awesome. I would have the faux wood removed and the entire beast painted black. Low-profile tires and "mag" wheels. Interior and exterior neon lights (including neon license-plate frame). A spoiler. Tinted windows. A party vehicle for me and my friends, the likes of which none of my peers had ever seen.

My dreams never came true. Dad sold the 6000LE and replaced it with an '89 Caravan. I bought a Mazda 626, which had a sunroof. You know, riding backwards wasn't that great anyway.

I'm not the only fan of the 6000LE. Read about one family's love for it here.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Meet Your Match

I have several purposes for joining the blogosphere. To challenge myself to create, to contribute to the world outside myself. To provoke critical thought and discussion. To entertain. To aid my fellow man (and woman).

My fellow man (and woman), do you despair that life passing you by, blessed as you are with sunsets, operas, and Family Guy, yet missing out on the bliss of having a soulmate to share it with? You might feel this way, but you should not. The internet is replete with resources that can end your misery.

Ladies, look no further than Mail Order Husbands, Inc. You can peruse listings of some of the most eligible bachelors worldwide, or take their proven compatibility test to find the best man for you.

Gentlemen, I direct you to Oksana Love. There you can meet women like Dinara, who not only speaks English, German, Kazakh, and Russian, but also English (beginning). She's outgoing and domestic, and she never drinks or smokes! (You'd better know what you want from the relationship, however, as she is none too patient).

All I ask is that you invite me to your wedding.















Success has never been so sweet (or convenient).

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Deus Caritas Est













Today, Pope Benedict XVI issued his first encyclical. An excerpt:

...First, there is a certain relationship between love and the Divine: love promises infinity, eternity—a reality far greater and totally other than our everyday existence. Yet we have also seen that the way to attain this goal is not simply by submitting to instinct. Purification and growth in maturity are called for; and these also pass through the path of renunciation. Far from rejecting or “poisoning” eros, they heal it and restore its true grandeur.

This is due first and foremost to the fact that man is a being made up of body and soul. Man is truly himself when his body and soul are intimately united; the challenge of eros can be said to be truly overcome when this unification is achieved. Should he aspire to be pure spirit and to reject the flesh as pertaining to his animal nature alone, then spirit and body would both lose their dignity. On the other hand, should he deny the spirit and consider matter, the body, as the only reality, he would likewise lose his greatness. The epicure Gassendi used to offer Descartes the humorous greeting: “O Soul!” And Descartes would reply: “O Flesh!”.[3] Yet it is neither the spirit alone nor the body alone that loves: it is man, the person, a unified creature composed of body and soul, who loves. Only when both dimensions are truly united, does man attain his full stature. Only thus is love —eros—able to mature and attain its authentic grandeur.

Concretely, what does this path of ascent and purification entail? How might love be experienced so that it can fully realize its human and divine promise? Here we can find a first, important indication in the Song of Songs, an Old Testament book well known to the mystics. According to the interpretation generally held today, the poems contained in this book were originally love-songs, perhaps intended for a Jewish wedding feast and meant to exalt conjugal love. In this context it is highly instructive to note that in the course of the book two different Hebrew words are used to indicate “love”. First there is the word dodim, a plural form suggesting a love that is still insecure, indeterminate and searching. This comes to be replaced by the word ahabĂ , which the Greek version of the Old Testament translates with the similar-sounding, which, as we have seen, becomes the typical expression for the biblical notion of love. By contrast with an indeterminate, “searching” love, this word expresses the experience of a love which involves a real discovery of the other, moving beyond the selfish character that prevailed earlier. Love now becomes concern and care for the other. No longer is it self-seeking, a sinking in the intoxication of happiness; instead it seeks the good of the beloved: it becomes renunciation and it is ready, and even willing, for sacrifice.

Read the rest here.