The thing I'm gonna complain about now that I'm in Wheaton, that is. Thanks to those of you who placed bets on this one--thanks for your confidence in my ever-loving optimism--but I won't complain about the weather. Understand that for the past two weeks I have loved the weather.
#1 complaint about Wheaton so far.....................................Nobody freakin' says "bless you" when you sneeze! I sneeze all the time, in many varied circumstances and surroundings, so I feel my experience has been rather scientific, and I'll be darned if I've gotten more than one or two "bless you"s since I've been here. Would somebody please explain this disturbing phenomenon? Rob? Josh? Anyone?
8 comments:
That is one of the most disturbing things I've ever heard. Maybe you should just start blessing yourself.
In nomine Patri et Filii, et Spiritu Sancti, amen.
Spoon, it's not just that...I want you to try holding a door open for somebody and see if they say anything. That drove me crazy on Wheaton campus. Might I add, you've become a bit Texan in your desire to be blessed?
Well said, Rob. Maybe Wheatonians wouldn't mean it, if they said it. They might just be being genuine. In Texas, they sometimes say "God bless" to actually curse you (God bless him, he is such an idiot). I think you pointed that one out to me.
Now I'm curious about holding the door. Hell, in Dallas, even holding the door for somebody following you through it gathers a "thank you."
Maybe I have become Texan in my desire to be blessed. Ha! Point taken!
But I'd rather think of it as becoming Mexan in my desire for circular social rituals. In Mexico, one commits a major faux pas if one doesn't say "salud" after a sneeze. Equally iniquitous is the sneezer's failure to respond with "gracias." There, the sneezer becomes indebted to the blesser!
I think the same holds true in Texas, only the words are in English and the "thank you" imports slightly less.
Either way, however, there exists some kind of verbal acknowledgment of the sneeze and a form of closure. But here I've actually caught myself saying "excuse me" after a sneeze for those very reasons. Nobody should have to beg forgiveness for sneezing; it's utterly involuntary.
Also, Jason, if you're going to bandy insults about, at least get your facts straight. The formula for the Southern Diss is not "God bless" but the more nuanced "bless his/her/your heart". (Nota bene: Omission is the significant factor here; only the heart is assumed worthy of blessing. The mind is considered beyond hope.) Even so, when has intent ever weighted the effectiveness of a blessing or curse?
But if lack of benediction reflects a "genuine" nature as you suggest, how sad! I should expect liberally-invoked divine blessings at a Christian institution--a "bless you" to "God bless you" upgrade!
Finally, also disturbing: the Wheatie willingness to look directly at someone he/she has met and pass within two feet of that person without acknowledging his presence.
Maybe you should streak the campus once a week. Or just go "birthday suit" until the cold is unbearable. You will win more friends, and influence more people. I read this in a book, once.
2 things. Jerry moved, be sure to find his new address for thursday nights. Secondly, should you decide to streak, write me an email and i'll privately tell you about the king of Wheaton streakers. The King, I tell you.
I already missed one prime opportunity to do the no-pants dash: Friday night "Campus Union" held an outdoor showing of "Cool Runnings" on the quad. I'll keep my eye on the calendar for other such events.
I don't think I have your email addy, Rob, but I would love to learn about the King.
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