Friday, March 03, 2006

Walk Like a Cowboy

I stopped buying blue jeans when I was 16 years old. I was done with them. I didn't need 'em.

Growing up, I had worn many pairs of denim pants. The seed of my disdain for them was planted early on. One of my earliest childhood memories is of shopping for jeans at the 1/2 Price Store. My mom made me try on several pairs. The ones I liked were "too long in the crotch" for Mom's taste, and the ones she liked were unbearably stiff and rough. "They'll break in after I wash them," she promised. Yeah, right. I guess they must have, but over the years, both conceptually and practically, jeans never got any more comfortable.

They never got any more cool-looking, either. As I became more fashion-conscious, I became more and more at-odds with those who provided my jeans. "Stylistic differences" led to my not wearing jeans baggy enough to meet my cool quota. Crotch-length (or "rise" as it is called in the industrty) was always an issue; to this day I'm not sure why. I was stuck with skinny, low-rise jeans when the rest of the civilized world was wearing baggy, comfortable-looking pants. By my 16th birthday, I had rebelled.

I walked away from jeans at that age. The pockets were much too small for my hands and keys. They were always exposing the waistband of my BVDs when I sat. The bottoms of the legs never fit over my shoes--cuffs that rest above one's hightops and not around them is the mark of a true dork, and as a homeschooler, I was already handicapped in the dork department and didn't need any help from stupid pants. And khakis were so much more comfortable! Those were some pants that fit my style (I was going for sport-prep/Asian/skateboarder in high school). I got a lot of questions about why I didn't wear 'em, and, eventually, a lot of crap from the likes of Caitlin O'Hannon and other jeans-enthusiasts, too.

Then one day my then-girlfriend complimented one of my guy friends on some jeans he was wearing. I noticed 'em, too. They did look kinda good, in their own way. This got me thinking, and opened my mind to the Possibility of Jeans. Months later, I found a pair of clearance-rack Gap jeans that fit, were in the "authentic" style (which is really faux-authentic), were "relaxed" fit, not low-rise (in your face, Mom!), and had deep pockets, all for $20. I decided to give 'em a try. I must confess, I liked 'em.

Now I can't stop buying those darn blue pants. I'm on my third pair, and things have really come full-circle. The last ones I bought were low-rise, and the least-baggy trou I've worn in years. I hate to admit it, but they're probably the coolest pants I own. My khakis are becoming obsolete. Why did I wait so long to return to pants that fit well like this? Why did I give 'em up in the first place?

I feel like a cowboy when I walk. John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, ropin'n'ridin', tobacco spit, belt buckles and purdy ladies. I should have boots for this.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you might be ready for the final phase. You know nothing but your jeans and your skin. To quote the wise Cosmo Kramer, "I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm lovin' every minute of it!"

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if you will get this comment since your post is from a couple of monthes ago, but it felt wierd reading it. I kind of summed up my own relationship with jeans! Back in the homeschool days, my mom said the same things about the crotch length and I gave up jeans for cargo pants with some khakis mixed in for flavor. Then I finally bought a pair of Gap jeans in 2004 and I'm on my 5th pair since then. I don't find it all that odd that my own person style comes full-circle, but when someone else's taste lines up to my own it does seem odd. Probably the homeschool streak breaking trough again?

Spoon said...

max: I made it to that phase with khakis, then became concerned about sweat stains (especially without AC in my car), so I retreated a little in the process. Perhaps one day I will be able to achieve that level of zen with jeans, but that day will have to include at least two of the following: a car, a house, and/or an office that are not 100 degrees all of the time.

Colin: Homeschooling affects a person in more ways than one realizes. I imagine you and I will still be feeling the effects of it as octogenarians.